I won’t lie, I sorta hit a roadblock. What am I doing this for? Why am I throwing away so much good stuff?

You may or may not know by now that I partner with a makeup company, and also started my own small candle making business. So the other day, I had ordered a ton of eyeshadows to fill a palette for doing my clients’ makeup. One of the really incredible things about this makeup company is that you only order what you want and need, so everything is packaged individually and fills a reusable, magnetic compact. Sounds great, right?

Right. I had ordered upwards of about 50 eyeshadows. Each come in this tiny little plastic clamshell packaging to keep them safe during delivery. While opening each one, and placing it into the palette, I had this thought about using the clamshell packaging for samples for my candle business. I mentioned it to my husband, as he was already grabbing the trashcan to dispose of all of my trash.

Had I not vocalized this idea, he would have thrown them away without a second thought. Had he not been there, I would have stashed these little plastic pieces to use later on. Had he not been there to rationalize with me, explaining that I couldn’t be sure the plastic was rated to withstand the heat of the hot wax, they wouldn’t have been thrown away.

I joke when I call myself a closet hoarder.. not that I hoard things in my closet, but that I am a secret hoarder. There are so many pointless things, such as this that I am convinced needs to be saved, reused, repurposed.

Right before the pandemic hit, I came home from visiting my family. I’ve told you before that their house is always full of “stuff” and chaos. It’s loud, disorganized, dysfunctional, and frankly overwhelming. I came home, and sat in silence. Pure silence. Sensory overload is a real thing. After I recovered, I began looking at different lifestyles on the internet. I came across the “Zero Waste” lifestyle and thought, “How incredible would it be to live so minimally that you didn’t create any trash or leave much of a mark on the world by having such a small footprint?” I brought the idea to my husband, and he was all about it.

I bought the reusable grocery bags, and began shopping for my groceries in bulk. I avoided single use plastic at all costs. When it was unavoidable, I had such guilt in throwing it away. I would stash it somewhere, a closet or cabinet, and tell myself that I would reuse it. I honestly believe this is where the spiral began. This lifestyle that should have been healthy, and rewarding flipped an internal switch within me that lead to obsessively holding onto things that would otherwise be trash.

Downsizing, Minimalism, Hoarding, Obsession, Zero Waste, Lifestyle, Organizing, Minimizing, Cleaning, all of these words will undoubtedly bring a different definition or idea to each person who reads them. It is up to you to find your own BALANCE and PURPOSE.

This journey, I’ve realized, is not a straight line. There’s curves, bumps, back sliding, and confusion that come along with the accomplishment and joy. Embrace it all. Take the time to feel it all. Rest when you need, and commit to keep going. You’ve got this.

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